A Healthy Competitive Mindset

I love playing points. Competition creates circumstances that are spontaneous and playful. When I face another person and the court is wide open for us to play with, I get to experience the unexpected.

I didn’t always have such a positive relationship with competition. There were several years when fear overshadowed the fun because I developed an emotional attachment to winning, and tennis became an exercise of measurement rather than play. My inner critic was always on. At the time, it felt like this was the right attitude because a tournament has only one champion. Results could determine sponsorships, college recruitment, or the drive to play on the professional circuit. So, thinking about outcomes seemed like the right way to go.

But giving so much attention to results creates problems. Tension rises and it saps more energy. I continued to improve my game, but my creativity on the court became less pronounced. There was desperation, more frequent choking moments, and less joy between matches. At one point, my need to perform well was so overpowering that my body began to react negatively. I noticed signs of a weakened immune system whenever a tournament was only days away. I later recognized that a storm was dividing me internally. My need for results attached me to things I could not control, and this caused a lot of stress. The mind was plagued by thoughts of results, and less attention was given to experiences.

We can only act in the present moment. Winning, losing, and measurements of performance are historical data points. The measurement does not take place until after the action is done. You win a point, and that becomes a record of history: relevant for keeping track of score but no longer within your control. Thinking about future results is just like thinking about past results, you give attention to a concept that is not in the now. The future does not exist except in thought.

Detaching from results such as winning and losing is tricky because we experience hitting a winner, scoring that point, and feeling amazing from it. But we fall into a trap when we associate with the score rather than the experience.

The fight, the excitement, and your focus take place in the moment. That is your flow. Playfulness comes from the moment. The feeling of joy one gets from a match comes from the experience of the game, not the score. Your connection to the experience is where all the magic happens — your sense of fulfillment, learning, and growth take shape through your experiences.

We have control over our attention, but not everything we give attention to!

Your attention to the present moment lets you see and learn from what is happening. You notice where the ball goes, where your openings are, what you do, and what types of shots the player likes or dislikes. These are observable, practical, and actionable realities. Each experience provides a deeper level of awareness that expands your abilities. Winning and losing are conceptual, useful for giving out trophies but not real like your breath or the movement of your body.

So here is my advice: Notice when your attention goes to a past or future result. Detach by moving your attention to something real in the moment, such as your breath. Do this every time you notice your mind goes to a thought or interpretation. The beauty of tennis is that the sport will show you through your own experience that your best tennis takes place after you let go of the need to control outcomes. Performance is already inherent in you.

Some of my favorite moments unfold after I notice myself forcing my shots. I let go of any need for results and begin to play with a relaxed mind and body. That’s when the game becomes pure experience.

Let your mind be. Bring your attention to the here and now, where the action takes place.